Watching

Taha Tinana... Body
Written By Maisy Bentley
Woman in bed

I watch,

As her belly pulls further away from her

Her heart fills and overflows

The sparkle in her eye grows

The connection between her and her partner is pulled closer

The love between her and the future carved deeper

And deeper.

I watch,

As her breasts nourish

The touch of her skin brings calm

The sound of her voice radiates order and direction

I watch,

As a part of me, I never knew I needed

That I’m not even sure I ever wanted

A piece that I never had

Is ripped away

And I watch,

As my heart shrinks

Not because any part of it is missing but because no more can be gained

As intimacy becomes meaningless knowing that I am unable to meet its demands

As the love, I have spent so long building for my body topples

Knowing it cannot live within these four walls of a “woman.”

I watch,

As my touch becomes hollow

And my voice brings a longing

For the connection that I may never know.

Maisy Bentley

Maisy is a LLB/BA student who is actively involved in social change work in the mental health, youth development and women's empowerment areas especially in the not-for-profit sector. Drawn to the safe spaces of Awa Wahine and its forums for recognising women’s unique strength, whilst also recognising Aotearoa is a colonial society and truly intersectional in its kaupapa.

“I often start with an emotion, event or action in my life and then write. I feel that it allows me to say things I wouldn’t otherwise say and express things that can’t be expressed in any other way. A way to have the conversations on topics that no one else wants to talk to you about, that you know everyone is thinking about.”

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