Māmā: A Poetry Collection
I see you, māmā
Holding it down
Sacrificing your time
Working around your tribe
Delaying you
Putting yourself last, again.
I see you, māmā
Running on no sleep
Juggling daily life
Trying to prioritise yourself
Creating unwanted judgement
Feeling conflicted.
I see you, māmā
Doing the best that you can
Taking it day by day.
So reset, we got this.
**
You see,
My mother never told me what to do,
how to dress, how to behave.
She never told me to go for a run,
or, do you really need a piece of that?
Helllllll nah.
She set the example to always be myself
to have strong values & stand by them.
She taught me how to communicate,
no matter how uncomfortable
& to always keep in touch.
As I transitioned into motherhood
I leaned into her more than ever
relying on her, like the inner child within,
holding my hand while I birthed my daughter
– a new kind of friendship flourished that night.
You see, sometimes you just want your mum.
Sometimes, you just need your mum.
**
I must declare that it is time
I show up for myself.
I am tired
of crossing the finish line last,
being late to the party,
not finishing my book,
reheating my coffee
overandoverandover.
My head full of constant lists
while the oven fan blasts on max.
I refuse to drown my sorrows
in the expectations of motherhood
that I have subconsciously placed on myself
– well, that society has placed on us
by passive praise of: hOw dO yOu dO iT?
I see this as no fault but my own,
sending myself to the bottom
of the whānau food chain.
So baby steps for me, now all my babies can walk,
because I am telling you,
there is no such thing as balance.
**
I blinked and you grew
from my puku, overdue
I don’t think I truly knew
love ~
before you existed.
**
Honestly,
thank goodness for my children
who remind me of my true purpose in life
when I am feeling anxious of others
disrupting my space
(literally & on social media),
making me question my personality
& how I even hold myself.
Here’s to you, my babies
for always bringing my focus back home,
putting it alllll into perspective
for loving me,
letting me be me
flaws & all.
Because I know I am a good person
I know I am an amazing wahine
I know I am a great mum.
Te Ahua Manu is a poet sharing her journey as a wahine—constantly transitioning and growing. A proud Māori, Sāmoan and Scottish wahine, Te Ahua was born and raised in Tokoroa, Aotearoa. She is a former journalist and a communications graduate from Wintec Te Pūkenga in Kirikiriroa. Her collection Words by Wāhine is available on Instagram @wordsbywahine_ or TikTok wordsbywahine_poetry.