Watching

I watch,

As her belly pulls further away from her

Her heart fills and overflows

The sparkle in her eye grows

The connection between her and her partner is pulled closer

The love between her and the future carved deeper

And deeper.

I watch,

As her breasts nourish

The touch of her skin brings calm

The sound of her voice radiates order and direction

I watch,

As a part of me, I never knew I needed

That I’m not even sure I ever wanted

A piece that I never had

Is ripped away

And I watch,

As my heart shrinks

Not because any part of it is missing but because no more can be gained

As intimacy becomes meaningless knowing that I am unable to meet its demands

As the love, I have spent so long building for my body topples

Knowing it cannot live within these four walls of a “woman.”

I watch,

As my touch becomes hollow

And my voice brings a longing

For the connection that I may never know.


 
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This article was written by Maisy Bentley. Maisy is a LLB/BA student who is actively involved in social change work in the mental health, youth development and women's empowerment areas, especially in the not-for-profit sector.