Why You Shouldn't Suppress Tūmātauenga
When you feel him, let him have his haka.
It’s a bit hard to cover Tūmātauenga without mentioning Rongo - they balance each other out; Tūmātauenga being the atua (god, metaphysical energy, elemental force) of war/man and Rongo, the atua of peace.
“They are a complementary pair representing the active and passive elements of life.”
- Te Miri Rangi, Whakapapa Fridays
I mentioned in last week's post that I'm a passive person; for instance, ‘wanna fight/argue? No, but we can hug it out and talk about how you're feeling and why you feel that way though?’ is pretty much me in a pāua shell. Rongo game - strong!
That's not to say I don't feel Tū inside me in times of conflict. Quite the opposite actually...
“Value of self-awareness part two”: whenever I hear or see things I don't like*, I get defensive. Battle shields, patu and taiaha up, I'm ready to defend my mana (prestige, authority) and rip you to shreds - only figuratively... I'm super confident in myself, even if it's misplaced (which is a lot of the time) and so I sometimes take conflicting whakaaro (opinions) as a personal attack. A little conceited, I know - but keep reading, otherwise you'll miss the part where I dig myself out of this hole.
Since I've learned that my first reaction is to embody Tūmātauenga and ready myself for war, I don't make any decisions or say anything while I'm in this state - she can't be trusted!!! Instead, I just let it happen; I let myself have a little haka and get the frustrations out and tend to my bruised ego..
I've learned to embrace this part of the process and let it happen, without judgement. I don't try to rush it or get down on myself because it's 'not nice', or 'PC'.. it's a natural instinct to want to defend something or someone you care about. It's Tūmātauenga inside us, activated.°
What's also natural, is for Rongo to come in and restore order. To complement our heightened state of Tū with calm, objectivity and open-mindedness. By giving myself a safe space to wrestle with my frustrations, I can peel back the layers and get down to the core of what's going on inside me: what the real conflict is.
Once you get the Tūmātauenga - Rongo combo on lock, and learn how to maximise how their energies flow within you - you're playing a whole different game. You unlock the bonus level of all bonus levels. You learn so much about yourself that you'd otherwise miss if you had suppressed those 'negative' feelings; frustrations, anger etc.
Another upside is: you don't annihilate someone and their confidence just because you couldn't process your feelings or get a handle on Tū within you. You can go through your process and formulate a response (if you want to) that enhances the mana of everyone involved.
So, have your haka. Then let Rongo do the rest.
Āku mihi ki a koutou, my best wishes to you all,
*Depending on what it is. Not too many things affect me in this way, I try to practice stoicism and be self-determining. But the things that do....
°It could also be an over-inflated ego too, factor that in..
Read more of Hanas writing at www.hanatapiata.com