Oh Lorde have mercy on our souls
I’m not categorically against or for
It’s not like I don’t see the worth
An internationally acclaimed artist singing in te reo Māori
The opportunity it’s given to Hēmi and Hana
The creative wānanga process
The acknowledgement of their pūkenga
I understand it is significant
The impact this has for our rangatahi who grow up in the reo
It does not go unnoticed
The project brings “reach”, a certain kind of value to our reo
Perhaps a value we’re not able to deliver
Maybe never able to deliver in this colonised land
And therein lies the mamae
It poses the question, what is the actual value we’re talking about?
The value of the reo that runs through my whakapapa, my DNA
The reo that flows through my veins
That was silenced
Yet is slowly being rebirthed
Generation by generation
I have more than my mum when she was my age
My kids have more than me
I know the ones now blessed
Privileged to walk the paths hard-fought-for
Laid down by the grandparents and parents
Who struggled to rebuild the foundations of our language within their homes
I now know how these ones see me
They see my paralysis as laziness
They see my knots in my stomach as an unwillingness
They see me as anti-reo Māori?
How is this even possible?
It’s been said (chur Stacey) that the reo is in me
I am the reo and the reo is me
I ponder when these folks enter these projects
Intentions solid
Hearts pure
Kaupapa-driven
I wonder if the potential harm is ever contemplated
Unintentional, absolutely
But the trauma, the pain is there
Trauma is not our identity, but it is undeniably there
As we heal
Rebuilding, piece by piece
I wonder what the fascination with white women is about
I wonder what their fascination is about
The saviourism, the paternalism
The… I get to benefit from your identity
Your Indigenous Knowledge
But never have to ever bear the burden of being Māori
Of being colonised
Of experiencing the impacts of imperialism
Exacerbated by capitalism and consumerism
It too is the binary that rolled out
The pitting against one another
Classic divide and rule stuff
The perfect colonial Crown strategy plotting out before my eyes
And at the end of it who wins
Whiteness wins
Whiteness given a platform, defended, protected
Gaining access to our world
Extracting all the good juicy bits
While we are left to salvage the bare minimum that remains
Oh Lorde have mercy on our souls
